How To Confront Someone When You Hate Confrontation
Front view of an angry couple looking each other sideways after argument in the kitchen during breakfast at home
Recently I had to have a tough conversation with a contractor that is working on my house. My fiance Sterling was very nervous, and wondered how i could easily handle confrontations. Well I thought It would be a good idea to give you some great tips, from leading experts.
- Confrontation Isn’t A Bad Thing. This is going to be a tough pill to swallow since psychotherapist Amy Morin points out that “fear of confrontation goes all the way back to childhood,” but conflict isn’t all bad. Every argument doesn’t have to be a shouting match. Confrontation very often leads to bringing people closer than they ever have been and resolves some deep issues.
- Focus On What You Have To Say, Rather Than How It Will Be Received. When you start psyching yourself out from confronting someone, remember that psychologist Ryan Howes says “you have a need, want, or opinion, and you have every right to express it.” Stop worrying about how the other person will take it, and instead concentrate on making whatever you’re about to tell them as concise and to the point as you can.
- Use “I” Statements To Keep Defensiveness At Bay. Speaking of your messaging, stick to “I” statements as much as possible during the argument. say things like ‘I feel hurt when yada yada’ instead of ‘you’re a selfish jerk.’ The focus should stay on your feelings rather than personal attacks. No matter how great it might feel to really roast them.
Check out more tips on confrontation HERE.
Source: HuffPost
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