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Taylor Swift’s “You’re Losing Me” Was Actually Written Years Before Fans Thought

Author Melanie Day

Taylor Swift released a song on streaming platforms yesterday called “You’re Losing Me”. If you are a casual Taylor fan, this may be a new track for you. The die-hards know that this track was quietly released at the end of May. It was on a special edition of Midnights that was only available at merch stands at some of the singer’s Eras Tour shows.

I remember listening for the first time to the audio on TikTok from a fan who purchased the CD and played it in their car for the world to hear. The track was also put on her website as a digital purchase for a few hours as well. I instantly fell in love with it. In fact, at the time, I called it one of the most “heartbreaking songs Taylor had ever released“.I stand by that statement. But what we learned yesterday, in the wake of the song dropping on streaming, makes it even more heartbreaking.

The Story Behind You’re Losing Me

“You’re Losing Me” details the days and weeks before a breakup. When you’re still together, but drifting apart. The bridge features a lyric that shakes me to my core- “And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her”. It goes on to plead for her lover to ” do something babe, say something”. We first heard the song at the very end of May. This was a few weeks after it was announced in April that Taylor and long-time partner Joe Alwyn were done. The song is very clearly about Alwyn, with parallels to other songs about him. And the timing of its quiet release lines up as well. Though there was always some debate about exactly when the song was written. She dropped it after the breakup but referred to it “from the vault” of Midnights. Midnights was released in October of 2022.

There are theories that Midnights is the breakup album. There were theories that the reason “You’re Losing Me” was never on streaming sites was that it was a message to the fans, one that didn’t need to reach the masses. Many fans hypothesized this may be all she says about the breakup with Joe. But Taylor released the track on streaming this week, and it’s certainly shaken things up. First of all, now the whole world can (and will- Taylor was the most streamed artist of the year) hear the song. But more interestingly, was co-writer Jack Antonoff’s promotion of the track.

Jack Antonoff Drops A Swift/Alwyn Relationship Bomb

In an Instagram story posted on his account, Antonoff shared a photo of Swift that can be seen below. The photo was of her in a kitchen with the caption “You’re Losing Me” is out today. A very special track from the Midnights sessions that’s finally streaming! Written and recorded at home on 12/5/21 right after Taylor ate these raisins”.

Read that again. The date. December 5th, 2021. So not only was the song not written post-breakup or in the last few months of the relationship but it was RECORDED sixteen months before the news of the split made headlines. That’s 489 days. So it’s safe to say the relationship was going south for a while. It’s additionally important to note that Taylor does not do things unintentionally. And someone as close to her as Jack Antonoff, would not and did not drop this piece of information without her permission.

This is a lot to process. But it wasn’t the only signal or easter egg Taylor left us with yesterday. Which means she is clearly trying to tell us something. One of the only true “love” songs on Midnights was a track called “Sweet Nothing”. A track that Alwyn has songwriting credit for (along with Swift), under the pseudonym William Bowery.  So the song being autobiographical about the couple was a fair assumption to make. This leads us to a tweet Taylor liked on Twitter yesterday.

Insert Paul McCartney

The tweet was from October 27, 2022. So this didn’t just come across her timeline while she was lying on the couch. She sought this out. This was, again like everything Swift does, an intentional message. You may be reading that again and saying what on earth does a tweet about Paul McCartney have to do with this situation? Fair question. Here are the lyrics to one of the verses from “Sweet Nothing”:

On the way homeI wrote a poemYou say, “What a mind”This happens all the time

See the parallels? The track also mentions Wicklow, a place McCartney has ties to. Taylor Swift and Paul McCartney are friends. Swift seemingly just told us the song was inspired at least partially by his relationship, not hers. Further indicating that Swift and Alywn were not the happy couple we all assumed them to be, those last few years. The pair’s breakup was a tough pill to swallow. He was there for her during some of the darkest times for her. She wrote so many tracks about him, her fear of losing him, and even her fear of her inability to bring anyone she was with “Peace”.

What We’ve Learned

Maybe Midnights was the breakup album. I can break down that theory another time. But it’s clear there was a lot going on that no one knew about.

And while I personally think it will be a while before we get TS11, I don’t think we’ve heard the last of what we will about the breakup. Taylor rarely comes out and explicitly tells us things, especially about her personal life. But she tells us. “You’re Losing Me” was dropped on streaming for a reason. Jack told us when it was written for a reason. And revealing “Sweet Nothing” was seemingly not about her relationship that was for a reason. What is going on behind the scenes to warrant this statement? Your guess is at least partially as good as mine. But it’s her story to tell, and I’ll let her on her timeline.

If you haven’t listened to “You’re Losing Me” you can do so below. It truly is one of the most gut-wrenching songs she’s ever released. You can read more of my breakdown of the song below.

"You're Losing Me" May Be The Most Heartbreaking Song Taylor Swift Has Ever Released

You may have missed it unless you are an absolute die-hard Taylor Swift fan, but Taylor quietly released a new song on Friday. No not “Hits Different” which finally made its streaming debut (it was previously a Target-exclusive track on the Target physical versions of Midnights). Not it also wasn’t the “Snow on The Beach (featuring More Lana Del Ray)” or the “Karma Remix with Ice Spice”. All of those are now streaming wherever you normally get your music. But another song was also released on Friday, a never before heard song called You’re Losing Me. Taylor had a special edition CD of Midnights available exclusively at Metlife Stadium for her Eras Tour shows there (and I’m still incredibly bitter about this and NEED this CD). And what made this album unique is a track called “You’re Losing Me”.

“You’re Losing Me”

“You’re Losing Me” is described as “from the vault”, a term Taylor has used to describe the previously unreleased tracks added to her Taylor’s Version releases. But upon having listened to it (easily 250 times maybe even 500 at this point). I do question if this was written pre- Midnights release or after. The track is obviously based on the fallout of her 6-year relationship with actor Joe Alwyn. And yes, Taylor has gotten heat (that a male artist wouldn’t get) for writing about relationships. But if you think that’s all she writes about, well I could name probably 50 songs about other topics just to shut you up, so don’t give me that argument. In fact, maybe I’ll write that next. But back to this track.

It appears to have been written pre-breakup, but when the couple started to grow apart and the differences seemed beyond repair. I’m a sucker for breakups and sad songs no matter who the artist is. The curse of not being in a happy relationship I guess. But Taylor does them so well, it’s impossible to not feel her pain. And this one, it may be the most heartbreaking one yet. And it takes a lot to write a song more sad than “All Too Well”.

The Impending Breakup

It gives us a clue into what was going on in the months leading up to the split, that made headlines Easter weekend. She believed it could be fixed, but ultimately the relationship progressed to a point where she just sat “in the dark and wonder if it’s time”. The signs she tried to send Alwyn, weren’t received and ultimately he couldn’t tell that the one he loved was “dying”. If you’ve ever experienced a relationship where the other person seemingly didn’t see you anymore or notice what you are experiencing. She pleads with him to “do something babe, say something”. But it’s safe to assume he never did. The song also hints that she was ready to marry him, but Alwyn was not on board.

Lyric Parallels To Love Songs About Alwyn

The song parallels love songs she had previously written about Joe Alwyn. It follows a similar cadence to “Cornelia Street”. In that track she sings “I hope I never lose you, I hope it never ends” and in the new song “stop, you’re losing me”.

There are many heartbreaking lyrics but one of the most painful to listen to is the bridge. She sings:

And I wouldn’t marry me either/A pathological people pleaser/Who only wanted you to see her

Another song this seemingly references is Paper Rings, where she proclaims she loves Alwysn so much she’d marry him with paper rings. Fans have also speculated this correlates to a track on evermore called “Champagne Problems”. The song details a failed engagement by the man in the relationship. But the pain and story may have been influenced by Alwyn’s unwillingness to propose. But there’s more. The apathetic lover sang about in “Tolerate It” (evermore) was that also Alwyn?

Was this song written before Midnights was released? We don’t know when the relationship began to go south so we can only speculate on the timing. But one thing is for certain, I can feel and relate to the pain Taylor sings about in this heartbreaking track. And if it isn’t officially released it’s a massive missed opportunity. A few of the other lyrics that absolutely ripped my heart out are: 

Remember Looking at this room/we loved it cause of the light/now I just sit in the dark and wonder if its time

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it/I’m getting tired even for a phoenix/always rising from the ashes

I know my pain is such an imposition

Fans are also speculating that Midnights was the breakup (or midbreak up album) and I can definitely believe that theory as well. But Taylor girl, I just want to give you a hug. And continue listening to this song on repeat with an endless bottle of wine. Listen to the song below and see how fans reacted to hearing of the most heartbreaking songs Taylor Swift has ever written- “You’re Losing Me”.

  • Listen To "You're Losing Me"

  • Fans Reactions To Hearing The Track

  • I Wouldn't Marry Me Either

  • When You Realize The Connections

  • Actual Footage of Me Since I Heard This Song Friday

    https://www.tiktok.com/@jswiftt13/video/7237598508377820459?q=you%27re%20losing%20me&t=1685460650748

  • Perhaps Not The Best Reaction?

  • I'm Not Crying, No

    https://www.tiktok.com/@lostinthelabyr1nth/video/7237911466710486299?q=you%27re%20losing%20me&t=1685460650748

  • Is There Any Other Reaction?

    @stupidfu__ingdinosaur13

    ANOTHER CAREER HIGHLIGHT IS SHE SERIOUS. #fyp #taylorswift #swiftie #yourelosingme #midnights #swifttok #theerastour #midnightstaylorswift #taylorswiftfallingover #foryou

    ♬ youre losing me by taylor swift - urlosinme

  • Coping Mechanisms

    https://www.tiktok.com/@thenerdsawaken/video/7237663907819572523

  • If This Isn't You Maybe You Don't Get It, But If It Is Just Know I'm Crying With You

    https://www.tiktok.com/@keepingupwithmads_/video/7238409427802590510

  • 25 Love Songs Taylor Swift Wrote About Joe Alwyn That Are Now Heartbreaking

    By now you’ve probably heard the news that Taylor Swift and her long-time boyfriend Joe Alwyn have broken up. There is a small sliver of me holding on to hope that these are false rumors. However, her publicist who is quick to dispel false rumors has been noticeably silent. Leading me to believe she was the “source”. And consequently that the relationship Swift has been so eloquently writing about for 5 albums now, is truly over. It is reported to have been an amicable split and that the two stars simply grew apart. But that doesn’t mean it’s somewhat easy. As a 15+ year die-hard Taylor Swift fan, I can’t help but feel sad for Swift and Alwyn. The relationship lasted for 6 almost 7 years and led to numerous love songs that Taylor Swift wrote about now ex-beau Joe Alwyn.

    While critics of the global superstar are quick to think they are swift by saying “Here comes another album” or label her the “problem”, she is hardly a “serial dater” these days. Not only is this incredibly insensitive, it’s also a false narrative that she only writes breakup songs. The relationship lasted for 6 almost 7 years and led to numerous love songs that Taylor Swift wrote about now ex-beau Joe Alwyn.

    25 Love Songs Taylor Swift Wrote About Joe Alwyn That Are Now Heartbreaking

    Listening to these songs now has a completely different impact, and honestly, many of them are now heartbreaking. A common theme in the songs written about Joe is how devastated she would be if they ever ended things. Knowing that that fear she wrote about so many times is now a reality, it’s tough to process. I just hope she is ok, and that this will lead her to who she is meant to be with. Even if that isn’t Alwyn. But for now let’s take a look back at the songs Taylor Swift wrote for Joe Alwyn and the lyrics that were once inspiring, that now take a heartbreaking tone. Many of these she now has to sing every weekend on her sold-out Era’s Tour.

  • reputation

    The first album that featured songs about Alwyn was 2017’s reputation.

  • Delicate

    The biggest hit from reputation was Delicate. This songs details the very beginning stages of the couple’s relationship. It hits on how he valued her, not the superstar, and not the negative representation she had been given in the media. “You must like me for me” and “Stay here, honey, I don’t want to share ‘Cause I like you” reflect how she felt as she was falling in love. 

     

  • End Game

    In this track that features special guests Ed Sheeran and Future, Swift sings about how she wants to be Joe Alwyn’s “End Game”. Some lyrics that stand out about the couple’s love are:

    I don’t wanna touch you (I don’t wanna be)Just another ex-love (you don’t wanna see)I don’t wanna miss you (I don’t wanna miss you)Like the other girls do

     

  • King Of My Heart

    King Of My Heart is all about in midst of everything going on in her life at the time, accepting maybe she would end up alone, the one she considered “the one” came along. Some of the lyrics that best describe this are:

    I’m perfectly fine, I live on my ownI made up my mind, I’m better off bein’ aloneWe met a few weeks agoNow you try on callin’ me, baby, like tryin’ on clothes

    And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting forKing of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

  • Ready For It

    I certainly wasn’t ready for the news that dropped this weekend. But lucky for Taylor Joe was ready for it back in 2016. In Ready For It Swift tells us that Alwyn was better than her exes, that she knows she’s going to be with him, and that “Every lover known in comparison is a failure”.

    Some, some boys are tryin’ too hardHe don’t try at all, thoughYounger than my exes but he act like such a man, soI see nothing better, I keep him forever

  • Dress

    Taylor details a side of her and Joe’s relationship that she rarely discusses in Dress. She also writes about how no one knows the truth and the details of their relationship. She alludes to when they first met (the 2016 Met Gala) when her hair was bleached and Alywn’s buzz cut. And that “even in the worst times, you saw the best in me”

    There is an indentation in the shape of youMade your mark on me, a golden tattoo

  • Call It What You Want

    “I’m doing better than I ever was” Swift writes about the time in her life as her 6 year relationship with Alwyn began. All the drama and shade being thrown at her “turns to nothing when I look at you”. He loved her during some of the hardest times of her life, and that is something special.

    Cause my baby’s fit like a daydreamWalkin’ with his head down, I’m the one he’s walkin’ toSo call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

  • New Years Day

    Hands down my favorite song on reputation, this one hurts. This song is about having something that the excitement isn’t the party or the night out, it’s the simple times. ” How she wants to be with him and the good and bad moments and that she will always stay.  She writes:

    I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babeOr if you strike out and you’re crawling home

    Don’t read the last pageBut I stay when it’s hard, or it’s wrong, or we’re making mistakesI want your midnightsBut I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day

  • Gorgeous

    Another song that refers to the couple’s initial meeting at the Met Gala, and how she felt when she first laid eyes on him.

    You should think about the consequenceOf your magnetic field being a little too strong

    You’re so gorgeousI can’t say anything to your face‘Cause look at your faceAnd I’m so furiousAt you for making me feel this wayBut, what can I say?You’re gorgeous

  • Lover

    2019’s Lover was the first album Swift has complete ownership of. It also, as the title reflects, has numerous songs about her “Lover” Alwyn.

  • Lover

    The “Lover” title track is written as if Swift is writing her wedding vows. She feels like she’s known him forever “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” And alludes to how she want’s that 20 years to turn into eternity “I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ’em all”. This entire song is an ode to the romance, and has to be heartbreaking for her to sing every night on tour. 

    Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?With every guitar string scar on my handI take this magnetic force of a man to be my loverMy heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blueAll’s well that ends well to end up with youSwear to be overdramatic and true to my loverAnd you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for meAnd at every table, I’ll save you a seat, lover

  • Paper Rings

    “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with Paper Rings”, she wanted him not the idea of a wedding or a diamond ring, him. Paper Rings describes the life they built together, how she “read all of the books beside your bed”.

    Darling, you’re the one I want, andI hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

    I want to drive away with youI want your complications tooI want your dreary MondaysWrap your arms around me, baby boy

  • The Archer

    Track 5 on “Lover” is “The Archer”. Track 5 is reserved for the most emotional song on a Taylor album, so you may be thinking how or why is this about Joe if this album was essentially a love letter to him. While he may not be the center of this song, which details her insecurities around love (“who could ever leave me darling? but who could stay?”), he is referenced in it and how she just wants to hold on to him forever.

    I wake in the night, I pace like a ghostThe room is on fire, invisible smokeAnd all of my heroes die all aloneHelp me hold onto you

     

  • Cruel Summer

    “Cruel Summer” is an absolute fan-favorite track. Seriously you haven’t lived as a Taylor Swift fan if you haven’t screamed the bridge to this song at the Era’s Tour. The song is about before her and Joe were dating but how much she wanted to be with him.

    Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyesWhat doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

    I’m drunk in the back of the carAnd I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)Said, “I’m fine, ” but it wasn’t trueI don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep youAnd I snuck in through the garden gateEvery night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)And I screamed for whatever it’s worth“I love you, ” ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?He looks up grinning like a devil

  • London Boy

    There is no denying this song is about Joe, who is British. “You know I love a London Boy” Swift sings in this tribute to Alwyn and confirming the relationship.

    You know I love a London boyI enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoonHe likes my American smileLike a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy youTook me back to Highgate, met all of his best matesSo I guess all the rumors are trueYou know I love a London boy

  • Cornelia Street

    One of, if not, my personal favorite song from “Lover” this one is hard to listen to now knowing her fear came true. When the pair first met in NYC and began dating Swift was renting a place on Cornelia Street. The home is where the romance began and their love grew. She sings that she is “so terrified of if you ever walk away”. But now we know she’ll “never walk Cornelia Street again”.

    And I hope I never lose you, hope it never endsI’d never walk Cornelia Street againThat’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mendI’d never walk Cornelia Street again

     

  • I Think He Knows

    Taylor had fallen for Joe and at this point she “thanks he knows” that she has. She describes how he makes her heart race, and how she want to “know his body like it’s mine”.

    He got that boyish look that I like in a manI am an architect, I’m drawing up the plansIt’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understandsNo one understands

  • Daylight

    “I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden” Daylight describes the love the couple shared and how it exceeded her expectations. How the love was the “Daylight” in the darkness that had been her previous relationships.

    I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw youI don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of youI’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark nightAnd now I see daylight, I only see daylight

  • All Of The Girls You Loved Before

    Taylor released this previously un-released cut off of Lover on Friday, April 17th the day her Era’s Tour kicked off in Glendale, AZ. She talks about how thankful she is for all the girls in Alwyn’s past and for what they taught him. But that “I love you more”.

    Your past and mine are parallel linesStars all aligned and they intertwined

    All of the girls you loved before (ooh)Made you the one I’ve fallen forEvery dead-end streetLed you straight to meNow you’re all I needI’m so thankful forAll of the girls you loved beforeBut I love you more

  • Folklore

    Swift dropped Folklore in 2020 after she spent the first few months of quarantine writing. While this album is mainly inspired by stories of other people there are a few tracks about Joe Alwyn. This album also features the first time the pair, unexpectedly, collaborated and wrong songs together.

  • Invisible String

    Every past romance, break up, and decision in the couple’s lives led them together. They were meant to be. That’s what “Invisible String” is about. It’s also relevant to note that in Arlington on the third weekend of Era’s Tour shows, Swift switched out Invisible String from the setlist and replaced it with “The 1”. Is this a coincidence? Sure it could be. But it also could be related to the split.

    Time, curious timeGave me no compasses, gave me no signsWere there clues I didn’t see?And isn’t it just so pretty to thinkAll along there was someInvisible stringTying you to me?

  • Peace

    Peace is another song that to me is just truly heartbreaking knowing what we know now. Taylor knows that whomever she is in a relationship with will always have to deal with the fact that she’s Taylor Swift. That the tabloids want to know everything about her. That there a many many things she simply can’t do. And in the midst of all of that she wonders if she can ever give someone “Peace”.

    All these people think love’s for showBut I would die for you in secretThe devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in meWould it be enough if I could never give you peace?

  • The Lakes

    In this “Folklore” bonus track Taylor talks about wanting to run away to the Lakes District in London and just escaping it all with her muse  (Joe).

    Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to dieI don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do youThose Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cryI’m setting off, but not without my muse

  • Midnights

    Taylor’s most recent album, released in 2022, features several songs about Joe.

  • Lavender Haze

    Lavender Haze references how this relationship is theirs. That people think they should be married, and dodging all the tabloid rumors about their relationship. (And this is the one string of hope I’m holding onto when it comes to this relationship).

    I feel the lavender haze creepin’ up on meSurreal, I’m damned if I do give a damn what people sayNo deal, the 1950s shit they want from meI just wanna stay in that lavender haze
    All they keep askin’ me (all they keep askin’ me)Is if I’m gonna be your brideThe only kind of girl they see (only kind of girl they see)Is a one-night or a wife

  • Snow On The Beach

    Swift describes this song best by saying, “The song is about falling in love with someone at the same time as they’re falling in love with you, in this sort of in this cataclysmic, faded moment where you realize someone feels exactly the same way that you feel, at the same moment, And you’re kind of looking around going, “Wait, is this real? Is this a dream? Is this for real? Is it really happening? Kinda like it would be if you were to see snow falling on a beach.”

    This scene feels like what I once saw on a screenI searched aurora borealis greenI’ve never seen someone lit from withinBlurring out my peripheryMy smile is like I won a contestAnd to hide that would be so dishonestAnd it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it‘Til you do, ’til it’s true

  • Mastermind

    Mastermind is about how once Taylor saw Joe she was going to stop at nothing to be with him.

    Once upon a time, the planets and the fatesAnd all the stars alignedYou and I ended up in the same roomAt the same time
    And the touch of a hand lit the fuseOf a chain reaction of countermovesTo assess the equation of youCheckmate, I couldn’t lose

  • Labyrinth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XDT5-m7CaM

    Another song in which Taylor references her fear of losing this love. She admits if the pair were to break up “I’ll be getting over you my whole life”. These songs in particular as some of the most difficult to listen to now, knowing how much feared the here and now.

    It only hurts this much right nowWas what I was thinking the whole timeBreathe in, breathe throughBreathe deep, breathe outI’ll be getting over you my whole lifeYou know how scared I am of elevatorsNever trust it if it rises fastIt can’t last

  • Sweet Nothing

    Sweet Nothing was written by the Swift and Alwyn (who uses the pseudonym William Bowrey).

    They said the end is comingEveryone’s up to somethingI find myself running home to your sweet nothingsOutside, they’re push and shovingYou’re in the kitchen hummingAll that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

Melanie Day is a graduate of North Carolina State University. She has worked for Beasley since 2012 in a variety of behind-the-scenes roles in both digital and promotions. Melanie writes about a diverse range of topics some of her favorites include travel, restaurants, Taylor Swift, and college athletics. When not at work you'll find her at a country concert or NC State sporting event.

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