You’ve just had the best sex of your life and you’re lying there in the arms of your lover, breathing heavily and tingling with complete satisfaction. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pall casts over you and you become anxious…agitated. You’re on the verge of tears. This confuses you. You search your mind for a reason for this sudden, unwarranted melancholia as tears burn and threaten to spill from your eyes. The sex was amazing and you both wanted it. Sooo….why so glum?
Psychology Today posted an article about post-coital dysphoria, a condition under which we experience the resolution period of sex with sadness. Sex is understood to be experienced in 4 phases: excitement, plateau orgasm, and resolution. During the resolution, the phase is where couples usually bond. It’s the period right after orgasm when we experience a euphoric high. It’s the part when lovers cuddle and kiss and make promises they cannot possibly keep. Post-coital dysphoria or PCD is common in both men and women. In two separate studies, nearly half of each gender reported experiencing sadness after intercourse. Men described feeling shame and self-loathing after orgasm. Both genders had the urge to cry. It doesn’t matter if the sex is good and consensual. PCD can rear its ugly head. Usually, PCD is linked to recent psychological distress in one’s life. Trauma and depression all possible triggers.
In our society we consider sex to be the height of pleasure. To our credit, sex is a pretty fun thing to do on those warm, tranquil quarantine nights, but it’s normal for things to be a little off sometimes. PCD is difficult to diagnose because of past abuse, your view of your body and sex, hormones, and stress are all possible factors. But if the blues are a frequent part of your sexual experience, you may want to consult your doctor.