This is What People Really Want in a Relationship
Maybe you’re looking for love or perhaps you’re already in a relationship and want it to last. Either way, you might wonder, what do people want in a relationship? Experts are weighing in, and the answers may surprise you. Of course, there are some superficial things people may want, but many people are looking for something deeper.
What Do People Really Want in a Relationship
The relationship experts at Zola.com say that one of the biggest things people look for in a relationship is honesty. Lesli Doares, expert marriage coach and author of Blueprints for a Lasting Marriage, tells Zola.com that “if you want to build a healthy, loving relationship, it’s paramount to be honest with both yourself and your partner.” I think that seems like a no-brainer, but anyone who has been in a relationship that lacks honesty knows the heartbreak involved. Being dishonest will cause issues in the end.
Healthline.com notes that affection is very important and something people really want in a relationship. They count affection as things such as physical touch, loving words and kind gestures. They note that “affection helps you bond and increase closeness, adding that, “Not everyone shows affection in the same ways, but partners generally get used to each other’s unique approaches toward fulfilling this need.” So, the next time your partner wants to cuddle, go for it. Cuddling is highly recommended.
Here’s one that makes sense: People want to share core values and beliefs with their significant other. Marriage.com notes that amid the other things people want in a relationship. They also have a good reminder that “relationships take continuous work and effort to maintain, and couples who have great relationships know that there are some key attributes that makes being in a relationship easy, especially if you’re with the right person and if your relationship is built on the right foundation.” So, just because it’s difficult that doesn’t mean it’s not meant to be.
This is the kicker. People want more than love. Josh Klapow, PhD, an expert clinical psychologist, tells Bustle.com that, “if you’re only in the relationship because of the feeling of love, you will soon feel that the relationship is slipping.” He adds that “if we are actively seeking these other elements, then there is a much more solid foundation for the relationship to last.” Bustle.com also notes having respect for your partner and feeling safe around each other is important, too. I totally agree. Hopefully these tips help you find or stay in a beautiful, loving relationship.
These Are the Most Common Reasons People End a Relationship
They can't be friends, in addition to lovers
According to Heysigmund.com, “Studies have shown that the love and passion that comes with the initial boost of marriage wears off after two years, which is why the best relationships are the ones that have genuine friendship at their core.” It makes sense. You can’t just be physically attracted to your partner. You have to actually like them as a person, too, and enjoy their company. You have to be friends, too.
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There's a lack of respect
This is a big one. Bestlifeonline.com notes that, “…if one partner has a blatant disrespect for the other’s life choices, neither partner will ever feel comfortable talking about their day, let alone their feelings or beliefs.” That’s really true. You have to respect the other person and let them know that you care and respect them, or else the relationship could hit some really rocky roads.
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Lack of trust
Trust is a huge thing in a relationship. The more serious a relationship gets, the more trust is important, too. That’s why it can make or break a relationship in those later years. “One of the foundational feelings necessary in a good relationship is a feeling of security,” Verywellmind.com says. “If you lack emotional support or find your partner unreliable, you might lose trust.”
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You rushed into a relationship
We’ve all been there. Everything was so great at first, that you went from a first date to, “Here’s my mom and dad.” Maybe you rushed into a relationship as a rebound, or maybe it was filling a void in your life. Either way, going into a relationship too fast is often a reason people break it off.
A major life event pushed the relationship to the edge
I’ve seen this happen before. Sometimes, it’s life that causes friction in the relationship, not the relationship at all. If someone is going through a really hard time or dealing with a shocking loss, sometimes, they can decide to just step away from everything, including their relationship. It can be anything from a big move to a death. “A big and unexpected life event, like the death of a parent or a sudden job layoff, can shake a relationship to its core,” states Bestlifeonline.com. They add, “And, oftentimes, these life-changing moments will result in other major changes that many relationships struggle to survive.”
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Communication problems
You totally have to be able to communicate with your partner. They can’t read your mind. The people who don’t communicate well are often those who find themselves having trouble in relationships. “Numerous studies have identified communication (or a lack thereof) as one of the top reasons for couples seek therapy, as well as one of the top reasons for break-ups and divorces,” Delraybeachpsychiatrist.com says.
Your partner isn't grateful
Even if you’re been in a relationship for a long time, a simple “thank you so much” means a lot. Always make sure to let your partner know how much you appreciate the little, and big, things. It goes a long way. Not being grateful could even lead to a breakup.
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Financial woes
Arguing about money is really common in relationships. It’s also a big reason why some couples can’t make it work. Maybe your partner loves to spend money on luxuries, and you’re a penny-pinching type. That’s an issue. “Differences over money is one of the top reasons for marital dissolution. But a couple also doesn’t need to be married to have money challenges,” Delraybeachpsychiatrist.com says.
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