The Maney & LauRen Morning Show

Weekdays 6:00AM-9:00AM

Psychologists Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman have studied over 40,000 couples, as they were about to start couples therapy. Not only did they see these couples firsthand, but the two of them have been married for 35 years, too! It’s safe to say they really are experts when it comes to love and marriage.

So, what have they learned? There’s something all couples have in common, and that’s to be appreciated. They want to be acknowledged for the efforts they make and they want to be seen. It’s no surprise then that the psychologists found that the number one phrase said most often in relationships that are successful is “thank you.”

“A thriving relationship requires an enthusiastic culture of appreciation, where we’re as good at noticing the things our partners are doing right as we are at noticing what they’re doing wrong,” Dr. John and Dr. Julie explain. “But it’s easy to fall into the trap of only seeing what your partner is not doing. You develop a narrative where you’re the one putting in all the effort, and you start to believe it’s true. Getting rid of this toxic mindset requires building a new one: scanning for the positives and saying ‘thank you.’”