In the essay, titled “My Abortion Saved My Life,” the singer-songwriter shared their difficulties in carrying three pregnancies to term. Halsey is a mother to a nearly 1-year-old son named Ender, but revealed she had lost three pregnancies by the time she turned 24.
“It seemed a cruel irony that I could get pregnant with ease but struggled to maintain a pregnancy,” Halsey, 27, wrote. “One of my miscarriages required ‘aftercare,’ a gentle way of saying that I would need an abortion, because my body could not terminate the pregnancy completely on its own and I would risk going into sepsis without medical intervention. During this procedure, I cried. I was afraid for myself and I was helpless. I was desperate to end the pregnancy that was threatening my life.”
The “Without Me” singer revealed that during their third trimester with Ender, they were “prepared for the worst” due to their past experiences writing, “I gave detailed instructions regarding the donation of my organs should I die or be declared brain-dead, meaning if my heart beat on but my brain wasn’t functioning, the state would have permission to cut into my warm and still flush flesh and take my organs to save other lives. How funny that while my own heart would amount to nothing more than a series of involuntary movements on an operating table, a beating heart in my womb could mean I couldn’t consent to saving my own life.”
After successfully giving birth to Ender, Halsey wrote, “My life’s long chapter of miscarriages and abortions was reduced to a page in that moment. It was simply divided into ‘before’ this moment and all things that would come after it. Years of blood and pain and misery from near-perilous and unwanted pregnancies, then the euphoria of chosen motherhood.”
Despite becoming a mother, Halsey said she has “never felt more strongly” about abortion rights, writing, “Many people have asked me if, since carrying a child to term after years of struggling to do so, I have reconsidered my stance on abortion. The answer is firmly no. In fact, I have never felt more strongly about it. My abortion saved my life and gave way for my son to have his. Every person deserves the right to choose when, if, and how they have this dangerous and life-altering experience. I will hold my son in one arm, and fight with all my might with the other.”