I’ve heard of marriage contracts before, but this one is way over the top!
A woman recently wrote into BuzzFeed’s advice columnist Stephen to ask what she should do about her boyfriend, who is telling her he won’t propose unless she loses weight. She writes on Buzzfeed; that she and her boyfriend have been to together four years, and says things were going “great” until she put on 20 pounds due to an “autoimmune disease that has ruined my metabolism” and makes it hard to lose weight.
“My boyfriend lets me know that otherwise I’m his favorite person and he still finds me cute but no longer attractive,” she writes, explaining that he told her he isn’t willing to get engaged unless she loses the weight. She admits to being angry he “doesn’t love me unconditionally” but also claims to understand “you can’t choose physical attraction.” And while she’s been trying to lose weight she hasn’t been successful and doesn’t know what to do.
Well, Stephen tells it to her straight and agrees she should lose weight – that loaf of a boyfriend. He says the simple answer is she needs to dump him, but does elaborate on why that’s true.
- First off, Stephen notes that bodies are meant to change, and even if she does lose the weight now, what happens if she gains it again, or if she has a baby and puts on weight. How is her man going to react? What weight will be acceptable for him? He adds that 20 pounds is not a lot over four years, but also shares, “even notable weight gain would not excuse his behavior.” In fact, Stephen says none of his behavior is okay, and is actually abusive.
- “Please believe me when I tell you: You are good enough, you can leave him, and you absolutely deserve better. Your boyfriend is the problem here, not you,” he writes. “Please dump this man, and find someone more deserving of all the amazing things you have to offer.”