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Sometimes we lie because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or to encourage them. The same can be said for secrets. But when is lying or keeping a secret hurtful? And when is it okay to push the boundaries in order to protect someone we care for?

There are generally three different schools of thought, according to Deccan Chronicle.

According to actress and wellness entrepreneur, Pooja Bedi, there are two very different types of lies: a white lie and an outight lie. She says, “If you are being deceitful within the relationship, your personality, ethics, and courage need to be questioned as well as the level of your respect for your partner’s right to know and act accordingly.

GeetArsh Kaur, the founder of The Skill School, says balance is key: “The human mindset is such that we only think of a lie in a negative context. It doesn’t have to be.” Kaur says lies can save a relationship because you’re avoiding collatoral damage. She says a secret is “the wrong word” for something that you don’t want to disclose or give unnecessary importance to.

Relationship coach Altaf Shaikh talks about how there is a lot of grey area surrounding secrets in a relatiponship. He says people hide things and say their partner “won’t understand” or the information is “irrelevant.” Shaikh says partners only share about 70 percent of information about themselves.

Which school of thought do you follow the closest? What do you think is worse, a secret or a lie? Has a lie or secret ever backfired and cost you a relationship?

Source: Deccan Chronicle

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