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A woman was invited to her friend’s wedding, but now she might not be going after the bride made an unreasonable request. In a post to Reddit’s “Am I the a-hole” section, the woman explains that she has long, blonde hair “in very good condition” and she’s spent a long time learning how to take care of it to keep it looking good. The bride-to-be has almost identical hair color, but hers is in a short pixie cut, and she asked her friend to chop off her long locks, “or at least dye” her hair before the wedding.

“She says that if I stand near her in wedding photos, she will look bad in comparison,” the friend writes. “I really do love her, we had many years of close friendship, but as silly as it sounds, I also love my hair.” She says the bride rejected her idea to wear her hair in an updo or braid it and when she told her she’d have to think about the cut, it didn’t go well. The bride told her friend that if she even needs to think about it, then she’s not sure she should be invited.

The distraught friend turned to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to cut her hair for this wedding and most Redditors have her back on this. Users assure her that the bride’s request was out of line and that she’s the one willing to ruin their friendship over a small issue. Several people comment that the bride is trying to manipulate her and some suggest she bow out of the wedding to stay away from the jealousy.