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There’s nothing better than the love and support you get from a good friend, but not every friend has your best interests at heart. Unfortunately for some, it isn’t always easy to tell whether someone you know will wind up being a true friend, but now folks are sharing signs that may give you a clue about their true intentions.

It all started when someone on Reddit posed the question, “What is a non-obvious red flag in a friendship?,” with plenty of folks chiming in on what to look out for.

Friendship red flags include:

  • “Always one-upping. This doesn’t refer to sharing their own story in response to yours — that’s pretty normal. It’s more about how you can never have the focus remain on you, it always becomes about them.”
  • “Asking you for stuff all the time.”
  • “Treating you differently when you’re around other people — acting embarrassed, disgusted, condescendingly, reserved…on’t stick your necks out for someone who wouldn’t even lift a pinky for you.”
  • “When it feels as though you do all the giving, and they do all the taking.”
  • “When they can’t keep plans consistent. If they’re consistently last-minute dropping/changing plans, then it’s a sign that you’re their second-best option. You’re their backup if nothing else is better.”
  • “Plans always have to be whatever they want, and they get sulky if you want to do something you enjoy.”
  • “You get nervous and have to be really careful what you say because anything can set them off.”
  • “Gossiping about others to you. If they do this, there’s a 99% chance that they’ll gossip about you behind your back.”
  • “They have another group of friends you’re never invited to hang out with, even though you invite them to hang out with your other friend groups.”

Source: BuzzFeed