Primary Menu

The MRL Morning Show

Weekdays 6:00AM-10:00AM

TOKYO, JAPAN - NOVEMBER 03: A girl reacts as she tries an iPhone X at the Apple Omotesando store on November 3, 2017 in Tokyo, Japan. Apple launched the latest iPhone featuring face recognition technology, a large 5.8-inch edge-to-edge high resolution OLED display and better front and back cameras with optical image stabilisation today. (Photo by Tomohiro Ohsumi/Getty Images)

A lot gets written about how to get over being ghosted, but there’s not a lot of people talking about the ghosts themselves. Other than cursing their names on Twitter that is… Let’s take a moment to address the ghosts out there. You know you’re not a real ghost, right? We see you, and we’d like you to stop disappearing into cyberspace right when things are getting good. Here’s how to break that nasty habit:

  • Be Honest With Yourself. The next time you want to cut and run, figure out why. Is it trepidation? Fear? Whatever it is, psychotherapist Sean Grover says to sit with those feelings and explore them instead of avoiding them… and avoiding your match.
  • Analyze Your Feelings. Once you’ve identified why you’re getting the urge to ghost, try to figure out where those feelings are coming from. Grover says to ask yourself if they’re a result of past trauma or anxiety about the future, or if you simply have a pattern of fleeing relationships.
  • Share Your Feelings. Don’t feel like you need to cover all this heavy stuff alone. Process your feelings with a friend or therapist. Grover also highly recommends checking out group therapy which he declares is “the best way to resolve intimacy issues.”
  • Be Transparent. After you’re done with all your processing, share where you’re at with your match. Grover says to “be assertive and mindful of feelings, show respect for the relationship.” And no matter how messy it gets, remember it’s 100% better than if you had ghosted them.

Source: Psychology Today