Over the weekend, you probably swiped past a pile of Instagram posts from couples giving their boo a Valentine’s shoutout with some mention of them being their “best friend.” Something along the lines of ‘can’t believe I get to wake up next to my best friend every day.’ But since when did everyone start hooking up with their bestie?
According to relationship counselor Esther Perel, this Best Friend lovefest is a fairly recent phenomenon. She believes that when humans shifted from living in villages to urban landscapes, we started putting more pressure on lovers to be an all-in-one package.
She says we want the traditional romance stuff but “now [we] also want [our partners] to be a best friend, a trusted confidant, and a passionate lover to boot.” Perel says we now expect “one person to give us what once an entire village used to provide.” Talk about too much pressure.
The fact of the matter is no one person can give you everything you’re ever going to need or want, and you can’t do that for someone else. We all know that on some level, but yet, we’re still searching for it. Doesn’t that seem a bit silly?
But maybe you’re out there and you’re fully convinced shacked up with your best friend. That’s all well and good. But you have to agree that the whole “I’m marrying my best friend” thing has become a cliche on the same level as a “world’s best boss mug.” There’s just no way everyone is with their best friend and that’s fine too.